At a Crossroads

ok, so this is where we're at. my last CT scan showed that the chemo wasn't knocking it back - one node had increased in size.

so the good doctor put me on tamoxifen. apparently, there is research that shows a synergistic effect. what this means is kind of like those commercials for abilify - if you add it to the other drug, it makes the other drug work more effectively? ok, pretty much the same thing.

so i've been on the tamoxifen for 23 doses (not that i'm counting or anything). saw the good doctor yesterday. my labs all look good, that's a good thing. even got the iron levels to come back up (they were 'trending down')

so the question is, is the tamoxifen doing what we hope it's doing?

well, the only objective measure i can use is the wheeziness i've had. i've had it for more than the 23 days of tamoxifen. at one point, maybe a month and a half ago? i was given an inhaler for when it was troublesome. and after 3 weeks on the tamoxifen, the wheeziness is reduced. i haven't been keeping track of wheezy days (maybe i should), but it's definitely better.

so next week, another scan, and we can look at the node that was slightly larger - and really, when we say larger? it was 1 millimeter later. that's a really teeny amount.

so if you pray, please do? if you light candles, send letters into the wind? whatever it is that works for you, we could use all the help we can get. let's hope the wheeziness IS better, the node is smaller, and the tamoxifen is doing what we need it to do.

on the other hand, if it isn't, i think the next plan is something called a PD-1 inhibitor.

i want to be better. i want to return to my job. i want to be a fully functioning member of society again.

oh, and it would be nice to think that after this is over, my hair will grow back. curly would be nice.