A Benefit in our Honor - post event

i am still speechless. i am still buzzing on the adrenaline from yesterday.

yesterday was the actual event. one of 'my' publications (one of of the ones i manage when i' m at work) came up with the idea to take their annual chili cook-off, and make it a benefit to help us out. once the idea was approved and floated, it seems as though it took on a life of its own!

Missy, one of the leads for the publication worked herself crazy, visiting local businesses for raffle prize donations. people that i have worked with made and donated raffle prizes as well. there were even a couple of silent auction type items. the company itself donated a day of PTO (personal time off) as a raffle prize. one of the EVPs (executive vice presidents) donated $50 cash as a prize. there were 2 tables of prizes!! one co-worker went to work on her sewing machine and donated a quilt, some wall hangings and table runners.

my daughter and i went up for the event, so that i could say hi to everyone, share hugs, stories and some laughter.

until the end, when they announced how much had been raised on our behalf. then we cried.

thank you, Cygnus Business Media, for your kindness, thoughtfulness, and willingness to help a fellow employee when they're having a struggle - you have made our life a bit easier, with a bit more breathing room for the next couple of months.

and, because we firmly believe in paying it forward, my daughter had picked 2 tags from an 'adopt a family for xmas' giving tree - the tags were for a 7 year old little boy, and he only wanted 2 things..... a bike, and soccer shoes.

he will be receiving both for xmas this year, with an included bike helmet. it seemed like the right thing to do.

so to all you cygnus folks, to missy, ronnie, sarah, erica, all the people who donated prizes (Kari, i'm looking at you), all the people who bought tickets (terri and erica made out like bandits!), we thank you.... from the bottom of our hearts.

A Benefit in my Honor?

I'm a little speechless right now.

yesterday, i got an email from one of the publications that i manage(d) at my job before i went on medical leave. I really haven't heard from any of them in the nearly 3 months I've been out.

apparently, they had been talking about doing a benefit to help us out, and wanted to make sure i'm ok with it.

yeah, i'm ok with it. as i told her, we'll accept all offers of assistance, with our deep thanks. seriously, we're scraping along, but it's stressful - there are a lot of days that i seriously consider ignoring my doctor's advice, and toughing it out at work, living on meds, simply because we need the paycheck. and then i have to take more meds, and lay down for a bit, and know that it wouldn't work really well. so we scrape along.

an email was sent out to the entire company (as best i can tell), announcing the fund raiser. they're doing a chili cook-off.... so a bunch of people will cook chili, there will be prizes and raffles for the people there, and the money they raise (they're charging something like $5 a person to eat chili) will be sent to us.

i'm speechless. i'm so appreciative of what they're doing, i'm not sure they know how much it will help, but i do.

clearly, i work for the best company out there. CBM, I thank you!

Today was the Day

After watching my hair thin more and more, day by day, and seeing the part get wider....... and seeing the bald spots in the back, i finally took control today, walked into a great clips hair cutting place, explained the situation, and had them buzz off what was left of my hair... it's now 1/4" long, and feels like a beanie baby.

now, to figure out how one ties these scarves!

Well Crap!

Son's car is totalled. the repairs are more than the car is worth.

seriously, i need a break. a winning lottery ticket. someone to put together a fund raiser for us - we're already in lean times, financially... this may push me right over the edge.

dear powers that be - could you cut us a break, please? we need to find a car for my son that we can afford, or magically have the repairs be about 400 cheaper, so that the car isn't totalled. pretty please?

Halfway Through!

Friday was chemo #13 - if we assume the 6 months that my doctor said, then I'm halfway through.

another 2 chemos, and another scan - I'm still not on the tamoxifen, but we'll have that conversation after the next scan, again.

i took a look in a mirror this morning, at the back of my head... the balding is starting to get noticeable, says my daughter - and up till now, she's insisted it wasn't really noticeable... so i guess we're getting ever closer to the shaving. at this point, i'd be ok with it - mostly because i'm so aware of how thin my hair has gotten... i could tell in the shower yesterday, it feels like i have so little hair left. so... so i have pink scalp showing through, but still have hair, or do i pull the plug and finally just shave it off? i'm leaning towards shaving it off

it's getting colder and gloomier outside, but here inside, it still feels warm. we've received some additional assistance from some new areas, and that's one of those heartwarming things.... interestingly enough, i've called to ask for an intake appointment for TANF twice now, and they STILL haven't called me back. guess i'll call them again today, and if i need to, i'll go there in person - it's only down the road.

in the "it's always something" category, my son had a minor car accident last week. he's fine, no injuries... but his car had to be towed, and will need to be repaired. so daughter and i went up there and left him HER car... so he can get to his job up at college, she and i can share my car, and i just hope the damage isn't too bad.... we'll see.

it's always something, isn't it?

Dear Prince Charming

When a doctor's office neglected to update the patient's address, and sent you the bill by mistake?

the appropriate response is NOT to call your lawyer, and have him send a nasty-gram to the doctor's office.

seriously. at a minimum, you ran up a legal bill for $75. the doctor's bill was only $35.

why didn't you just drop it into an envelope and send it to me, with a note that it got sent to the wrong address? that would have cost you........... less than a dollar.

this is almost as brilliant as the time you fought me in court, and ended up paying $450 in legal fees, in order to NOT pay a doctor's bill of........... $62.

did you pawn your brains?

Post Chemo 11, day 1

yesterday was chemo #1`1 - and up till now, i've been doing really well. all the counts are staying high enough, and reasonably stable.

yesterday, they changed the amount of carboplatin - apparently some count that indicates how the kidneys are doing is a little off. not really sure what's up yet, since i didn't meet with the doctor or nurse practitioner. i DO know that my doctor is really on top of things, though - when my potassium was a little low (3.2 when it should be 3.4 at the low end), they immediately gave me a list of high potassium foods, and said if it didn't come back up, they would add potassium supplements to my rx list. ok, i'm good with that - and the next week, it was up to 3.7 and has stayed there 2 weeks in a row (don't know yesterday's counts yet) - so that one is fine.

i know that i've been slacking on drinking the half-gallon of liquids a day lately.... so my goal this week is to make sure i do at least 64 ounces of non-caffeine liquids for at least friday, saturday and sunday (the critical time) - to flush as much of the chemo past the kidneys as quickly as possible. if i didn't get ALL the liquids yesterday, i know i came darned close - 16 oz of spiced cider, 32 oz 0f gatorade, and most of a 1/2 liter of water.

so today, we start again. hey, if nothing else, drinking all that water means i'll be full all the time, which means i won't be snacking, right?

so that's today. it's early, everyone else is still sleeping, so i'm in my room watching tv and knitting.

and today would have been my mother's 83rd birthday - she passed on nearly 3 years ago.