Round 2

Yesterday was round 2 of chemo - i have no idea how many rounds in all. once they shoot in the benadryl, i'm a happy little camper.... at that point, i have to put my knitting down, and try to pay attention. they keep expecting me to fall asleep....

it seems so busy there.... lois was there, my daughter was there, the endless flow of nurses and techs, the chaplain looked in twice, but decided we had enough going on, larry from the counseling came by for a while... and i spent 36 minutes on the phone with an advocacy group out of UW-madison who thinks they can help me navigate this jungle of where there might be resources to help us out.

they're the first ones who said 'yes, we think we can help you' - mostly, i get told no a lot, including the letter from SS disability, who denied my claim.

see.... i work because i have to. i'm the sole support of this household, with 2 kids in college, one who suffers from bi-polar disorder, and has her own disability claim in the works.

but because i work, i don't qualify for disability. and if i don't work, i can't afford my medical treatment, and we'll be living in my car.

gotta love this system. i can't quite seem to get them to understand that i'm stage 4, i will not be able to work full time forever....

so monday, i'll contact my social worker from the hospital, and the advocacy group, and see if either of them is able to help me with this - i have the right to appeal, and i would assume a letter from my oncologist might sway their decision? the advocacy group has lawyers who can oversee some of this (not offer legal advice, but at least oversee) - maybe there's a way to appeal this successfully....

but for now, i still have my hair (today is day 9). i went to the farmer's market this morning, it was glorious, and we came home with a basket of fresh produce and breads (including a gluten free one for my gluten intolerant child).

then we (read my daughter) decided it was a good idea to make chicken tamales.... cause we can make them gluten free, and it can't be any more money than the ones we buy at the farmer's market.

so we made a batch, ended up with 19 tamales (yay, cheaper than the farmer's market) she had 3, 4 packed for son's dinner when he gets home from his job, 2 more bags of 4 in the freezer....

and then i went and gardened for about an hour and a half. garden isn't doing great this year, i think the weather's really not helping..... but it still feels good to do, rip out weeds, look at the plants, i came home with a cucumber and a handful of small tomatoes.

not bad.

so that's how it is. i've survived 2 rounds so far, with not a whole lot of ill effects... i still have my hair (for another 10 days or so), i have a scan on sept 2 to see if there's any remarkable improvement, which we are not expecting, and then i'll get put on tamoxifen.... which has shown good results.

one day at a time. i ain't dead yet!